Monday Top 10 List

I've seen these before, but it was a good laugh before bedtime:

TOP 10 THINGS TECHS WISH THEY COULD SAY TO THE MUSIC TEAM:

1. “I can’t break the laws of physics just so you can have more vocal in your monitor. I didn’t invent the laws, I just live by them. You might see if God will change them for you.
2. “If you had spent the last fifteen minutes tuning your guitar instead of fixing your hair, we wouldn’t be late starting soundcheck.”
3. “No, there isn’t a ‘muddy knob’ I can turn down to make it sound better.”
4. “Instead of using another mic for your voice, why don’t we use another voice for your mic?”
5. “Sure, I’ll run all the way down the stairs, across the auditorium and up to the stage to move your monitor three inches. After all, we wouldn’t want you to break a nail by doing it yourself.”
6. “Oh, never mind me. I didn’t want anything from Starbucks. I’ve only been here by myself for the last three hours setting all this up for you.”
7. “No, if you ask me to turn all the house lights down, I can’t make it so you can see the audience’s reaction during the songs.”
8. “No, the camera doesn’t add ten pounds to your face. You did that by yourself.”
9. “There is not a knob to make it sound more round, more blue, or any other shape or color.”
10. “Tell you what: you don’t tell me how to mix and I won’t tell you how to play – deal?”